Are you sitting and wondering – what the hell is wrong with my content?
Are you sick of submitting your guest posts all over the web? Do you spend endless hours waiting to hear back from them – the BIG BLOGGERS?
Have you actually aged a few years waiting for traffic to come your way?
You are tired, frustrated, clueless.
Here is what might be going on.. take an inside look into the minds of big bloggers …
(Big Blogger, if you are reading this – ha! as if that’s ever gonna happen – don’t get offended, this is not about you!)
WBS – What Bloggers Say
WBM – What Bloggers Mean
I don’t want to insert the above abbreviations before every line – its downright annoying. The first line is WBS, the one immediately below, in bold, is WBM … WBS – WBM, WBS – WBM. Got it?
Helpful Advice on Producing Killer Content
Your content is great – you need it to be more scannable and screen friendly.
Nobody reads anything on the net – Hullo! Learn to write like you have a house on fire and don’t forget to put in white space – bucket loads of!
Yes, yes your blog is fine. I am sure many people will subscribe in time.
I haven’t actually looked at it.
Yes all the time waiting for a comment to appear – on your content – is a killer.
Its all about what you write.
Its all about who you know.
On Self Expertise
I am a internet marketer, social media expert, SEO guru, Link moghul
I am a geek. I have no life.
I am a writer, I have many articles published in the local paper.
I like to think I am a writer – and by local paper I mean the one that came out of my local university – college – actually school.
I don’t have unlimited time – I have a life outside of the virtual world.
I spend 5 minutes bickering with my wife to do the school run, pick up laundry, do grocery and get out of any social engagements that don’t involve anybody who doesn’t GET blogging.
I love my kids.
I am trouble remembering what my kids look like.
I am monetizing my blog.
The quality of my posts is going down.
I am a highly successful blogger.
I am excellent at a$$ kissing.
On Guest Posting
Thanks for contacting with us with your query; we will get back to you as soon as possible.
We will get back to you sometime in the near future.
Thanks for contacting us with your guest post query, we will get back to as soon as possible.
We have no intention of ever getting back to you.
Thank you for writing in to us. Unfortunately we only choose guest posts from our pool of writers.
Your post sucks.
Let me know if want to talk about advertising, buying from me, hiring me?
I am clearing my schedule right now.
This person is part of my inner circle. Be prepared for all the promotion I will be doing from on.
Very Helpful Advice on Increasing Traffic
I have 49, 539 subscribers.
Some don’t check their email at all, some have moved on, some are claiming to have 50k subscribers of their own, few have since dropped off this earth – I have some subscribers.
Learn how I skyrocketed my subscriber count in the last 8 months.
Pay me and I will tell you what you probably already know by now. And did I say 8 months – err – that is true if you don’t count my four initial blog failures and 2 years that I spent sucking up before I started counting.
I have done it by producing killer content, you can too.
When I started, very few people were blogging. Now they are more people blogging than the ones who are actually reading. Two words – Dream on!
We will tell you everything we know about becoming a problogger.
You have to pay us first, how did you think we became one?
You are a very talented marketer. You will go places.
I am feeling threatened.
You are a very talented writer. You will go places.
You have no hope in hell of ever making it.
There you go … now you know.
Final Disclaimer: This post was written to tickle your funny bone – provided you have one. No bloggers -new or old – have been harmed during the making of this post.
If you have enjoyed reading this, share it on your networks. (I have been wanting to say this for the longest time. Notice the shiny new buttons down the bottom? Use them!).
Its payback time!
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